If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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