We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
