ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
