Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We talked him into tasing himself.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
