She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
