Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
