I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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