you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
