Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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