I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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