Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
