I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
