I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
