Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
