dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
