OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
