I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
