What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
