You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
tonight lets celebrate not being married
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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