I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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