need another drink. this is the easiest way
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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