; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's no shave November. This is our time.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
