She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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