Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
