My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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