I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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