someone threw a dead crab at me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
