He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
