Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You dont lie about slip and slides
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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