Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
