Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
