This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
