but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
