She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Your dad touched me again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
