He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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