im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
