I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
