yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
