i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
