The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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