Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
