okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
