What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
