My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
