Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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