Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
