So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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