i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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