Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
