What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
