i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
