Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
