But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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