what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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