did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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